Issue 17: Finding real friendship in motherhood
With author and parent Becca Piastrelli
We’re thrilled to welcome Becca Piastrelli as our guest editor this week! Becca is a local Hudson Valley mama, author of Root & Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect with Land, Lineage, Community & the Self, and is the host of the Belonging podcast. She teaches and speaks on the nature of belonging and what it means to be alive in the Age of Loneliness and holds retreats to help women reconnect with their rooted sense of self. A couple times a month, she sends out Slow & Seasonal – her newsletter that meanders on all things modern-day rites of passage, seasonal and cyclical living, and cultivating meaningful community. Check it out here.
Making friends as an adult is hard. Most of the time, we're straight up busy as hell or tired AF.
And then we have children, and the little free time we once had vanishes in a haze of sleepless nights, making sure to order new shoes because their feet keep growing, and finding time to wash our hair.
In those first years of motherhood, I remember trying to keep friendships alive through fragmented text conversations—attempting to make plans, only to forget to respond for weeks or ghost entirely out of pure overwhelm. If by some miracle we did make a plan, one of us would inevitably have to cancel at the last minute due to a sleepless night or a sick kid. It wasn’t personal; it was just survival mode in a nuclear-family-centered society that stripped us of the village.
And yet, we need connection. It's as vital as drinking water, my friends.
Humans are wired for being near each other, and without it, we wither. In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released an advisory highlighting the profound impact of loneliness and social isolation on individual well-being, equating the health risks to those associated with smoking and obesity.
Friendships.are.essential.
As parents, I'm pretty sure we're all aware of the candy heart holiday tomorrow. As we move through this week where love is so widely discussed, it’s worth remembering that romantic love is only one part of the equation—platonic love and deep friendships are just as vital.
But where do we find these connections? How do we move past small talk and into something richer?
This is where I advocate for women’s circles as a potential solution.
A women’s circle is more than just a gathering of gals—it is a place where facades fall away, where we are encouraged to share our truth, and where we witness each other and are witnessed in return. In a women's circle, we move past the social niceties and into something real: unwavering support. The kind that shows up with soup when you’re sick, that picks up your child when you’re running late, that holds space for your heartbreaks and triumphs alike.
This Valentine’s (and Galentine’s) Day, let’s remember that love isn’t just what we receive—it’s what we build together. If you’re longing for deeper friendships, for a place where you are truly seen, consider arranging childcare and stepping into a women's circle.
The love we cultivate among women has the power to sustain us, to nourish us, and to remind us: we were never meant to do this alone.
Join Becca and The Soft Spot for a Women's Circle for Hudson Valley Mothers at Three Waters Farm in Ghent on Sunday, March 9th from 10am-12pm. Together, over tea and nourishing snacks in a cozy private space, we'll explore what community means in modern motherhood. We’ll reflect on who our village is, how we want to show up for those we love, and what it truly means to be in community with other parents. This is a space to connect—with yourself and with other mothers—so that you leave feeling supported, seen, and held. We only have 15 spaces, so grab your free ticket here.
What We’re Reading
[Becca] - I've been giving my brain and nervous system a break from this particularly dark historical moment by toggling back and forth between that dragon smut life (aka Onyx Storm) and hyper-fixating on literally every single text screenshot of evidence in the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni lawsuits. But did you also see this NYT article about how Gen X women (in their 40s and 50s) are having the best sex of any generation right now? It's a goodie.
[Ashley] - Aubrey’s daycare recently participated in the Scholastic Book Club which made me nostalgic for my own school days “shopping” for books at the Scholastic Book Fair. Of course, I had to participate! Aubrey’s box of books was largely inspired by the usual toddler dramas: emotional regulation, learning to share, and potty training. To help deal with our big feelings, we selected Mootilda’s Bad Mood, The Worrysaurus, and Llama, Llama Time to Share, found potty training silliness with Vegetables in Underwear, and finished with the classic One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
[Genevieve] - My comfort Substack is Pasta Social Club by Meryl Feinstein, with her colorful doughs and jaw-dropping pasta shapes. She partners with John Francis Designs on the most incredible ravioli molds around. On theme for this week, one of my favorite videos of hers is the Valentine’s Day Ravioletti. xo
[Maddie] - We have both a vegan and a kid with an egg allergy in the family, and my years of adapting the classics to be egg-free are really paying off in our current hellscape. If the news has you looking for something sweet (and you don’t have chickens in your backyard), King Arthur Flour has pulled together a primer on egg-free baking and the chemistry behind their recommended swaps.
Our Picks
[Becca] - I just found out about the cruise ship that is traveling around the world for three years and am utterly fascinated. This podcast episode interviews someone on board, and I liked it. I'm also updating our guest bedroom to be family friendly with a pair of vintage 1960s twin beds I found on Chairish and hunter green bedding with these adorable scalloped pillowcases. I've begun ski lessons for my 4-year-old at Catamount Ski mountain and I cannot take the hassle and cost of rentals. Turns out, you can find used ski gear all over this land on Facebook Marketplace. Finally, Hudson locals, do not sleep on the take-and-bake chicken pot pie at Talbott & Arding right now.
[Ashley] - I recently gave my dear friend and incredibly talented mom, Emma Rosenbush, a movement session and she gifted me a bottle of her and her husband’s very own Dewey’s North Fork Merlot (just so you know, I will work for wine.) They moved from the Bay Area to Germantown and brought their incredible winemaking prowess with them. Stay tuned for the release of the New York goods, and in the meantime, you can find their California stuff at local spots. Drink it by the glass at Quinnie’s, snag bottles at Hudson Wine Merchants and Taconic Wine & Liquor, and keep an eye out for all of their upcoming projects!
[Genevieve] - I never really gave much thought to the toxicity of the cleaning supplies in my house until a Black Friday deal a couple years ago led me to the Branch Basics starter kit. Windex does the job (and cures all ills, if you’re a Greek patriarch), so why question it? Plus, I assumed all natural cleaners would do a terrible job at, well, cleaning. But I was and continue to be shocked at how every product works just as well as its harsher counterpart, and with less of the stuff you don’t need (bonus: as a gal with occasional migraines, anything fragrance-free is a win).
[Maddie] - We go to a Baby & Me music class each week, and the teacher will share little music theory tidbits as she moves from song to song. Maybe it’s my renewed appreciation of Phyrigian scales and asymmetrical meter that has me very into this music guessing game. Bandle breaks down popular songs by instrument and asks you to guess the song of the day, adding one instrument track at a time. It’s a nice change of pace from the more wordy daily game circuit.
In the Neighborhood
We live in the Mid-Hudson Valley and we’re keeping tabs on these (mostly family-friendly) events near us. If there’s another event you’d like us to share, please send it our way!
Thursdays until April - Music & Movement Storytime, Hudson
Saturdays until April - Hudson Indoor Winter Market, Hudson
Sundays until March - Long runs with Return Run Club, Hudson
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Thursday, February 13 - Community Soup Night at Left Bank Cider, Catskill
Friday, February 14 - Valentine's Dinner at Harana Market, Accord
Friday, February 14 - Valentine's Day Party at Skate Time, Accord
Friday, February 14 - Valentine Pop-Up Dinner at The Corner Counter, Red Hook
Friday, February 14 - Hot Tamale: a Valentine’s Day Pop-Up by Sueños Catskills, Livingston Manor
Friday, February 14 - Valentine’s Square Dance at The Common Good, Ellenville
Saturday, February 15 - Acupuncture Community Clinic at Hudson Area Library, Hudson
Saturday, February 15 - Hot Chocolate Fest at Ashokan Center, Olivebridge
Monday, February 17 - Friday, February 21 - Winter Art Camp (ages 5+) at Art Omi, Ghent
Wednesday, February 19 - Night at the Discovery Center, Albany
Thursday, February 20 - All Fours Book Club at Made X Hudson, Catskill
Thursday, February 20 - Kingston Cooks workshop, Kingston ^
Thursday, February 20 - For the Many Ulster County community meeting, Kingston
Thursday, February 20 - Ladysmith Black Mambazo at Levon Helm Studios, Woodstock ^
Starting February 20 - Baby & Me, Toddler & Me, and Prenatal Yoga at Sadhana, Hudson (use code FRIENDS10 for 10% off)
Saturday, February 22 - Port Jervis Cocoa Crawl, Port Jervis
Sunday, February 23 - Girl Dinner at Local 111, Philmont
Wednesday, February 26 - Upper Hudson Planned Parenthood Day of Action, Albany
Friday, February 28 - Remember You: Friendship at Setu Yoga, Kingston
Wednesday, March 5 - Baby & Me Meetup at Play Pop, Hudson
Sunday, March 9 - 💗 The Soft Spot Women’s Circle 💗 with Becca Piastrelli, Ghent
Starting the week of March 17 - Parent-child garden classes at Hawthorne Valley, Ghent *
Friday, March 21 and Saturday, March 22 - The Goddess Party Unplugged, Saugerties ^*
Starting March 22 - Innate Postpartum Care Workshop at Play Pop, Hudson
^ = for adults
* = will likely sell out, so book soon
As we find our rhythm, please reply with what you want to see in our emails. We have toddlers, we’re used to tough feedback.
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Windex for the win! (dows)