Hi from The Soft Spot
A soft landing when everything else feels hard.
I’m writing this from beneath laundry piles, between wake windows, and elbow-deep in a sink of pump parts: it’s the end of the fourth trimester with my second child.
My sweet ET-looking bundle has grown into a round, very much human baby with strong preferences (yes to constant movement and a 98° bottle temperature; no to pacifiers or predictable naps). Though now that I’ve shared these, I’m sure her preferences will change tomorrow.
We’re still in a stage of transformation, my baby and I, and that’s also what I hope this space can be. A space where Genevieve, Ashley, and I can navigate how having a child is all about change. The saying about how you never step in the same river twice as it’s not the same river and you’re not the same person? Heraclitus must have been talking about parenting.
The three of us first met in the daycare parking lot, bemoaning bad sleep and diaper rash. Since then, we’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the future of postpartum support in the mid-Hudson Valley, and we’ll share more of what we’re building to provide that support in coming months.
Expect The Soft Spot every week or so with updates, recommendations, and local events, fresh from the nursery glider!
-Maddie
Meet the Moms
Maddie Meehan
Who: After spending the last decade working for San Francisco tech startups, I’m back in school for nursing and eventually, midwifery. I live in Columbia County, NY, with my wonderful, chaotic family, while the mystery of who’s behind The Hudson Wail keeps me up at night.
Kids: A (2) and O (3 mo)
Tiny birth stories: There Will Be Blood and 2 Fast 2 Furious.
First postpartum cry-fest: During one of those newborn diaper changes that never end, just poop after poop after poop, my son managed to pee into his own ear. I was convinced this would somehow lead to his first ear infection and I struggled to get him into the bath while we both cried.1
Last parenting moment that brought you joy: My toddler working hard to get his sister to giggle. Baby belly laughs are currency around here.
When do you feel most like yourself: When I’m moving my body outside. I’m slowly getting back into running and it feels so good. My exercise mantra these days? “Don’t devalue any effort you make.”
Ashley Matthews
Who: In my professional life, I’m helping people move better with manual therapy and Pilates-based exercise in Columbia County and NYC. I am the usual cliche of former dancer turned Pilates instructor - I love movement and bones and muscles and fascia and watching all those grow and develop in my own child has been a wild case study!
Kid: A (2)
Tiny birth story: Birthing center showers save lives.
First postpartum cry-fest: I was INCREDIBLY sleep deprived and unsurprisingly didn’t anticipate this. I was on the couch with a Haaka attached to one boob to catch my let down while my baby nursed on the first breast. She was a HUGE spitter. So she nursed, spit up all over me, I spilled my Haaka and screamed.
Round two was being a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding two weeks postpartum. I sobbed. My. Face. Off.
Last parenting moment that brought you joy: Toddler A calling us all by our given names - it’s so ludicrous and cute to hear your two year old call you “Ashley” and “Michael” instead of “Mama” and “Papa”.
When do you feel most like yourself: Dancing always. I took Sayer Mansfield’s dance class at PS 21 a couple weeks ago and rode that high for days and days.
Genevieve Gearity
Who: Living that single-mom Gilmore Girls cosplay just outside Hudson, NY (with less codependency, and shockingly more coffee). Pre-baby life included DC politics, a stint abroad in Panama, comedy writing/performing in NYC, podcast producing, biz dev for tech startups… all informing a rather eclectic present-day Genevieve.
Kid: M (2)
Tiny birth story: Five hours. Unmedicated. Homebirth. Episiotomy. OP.
Alt: Midwife: “We ran out of lidocaine.”
First postpartum cry-fest: Being all alone in the house with my newborn for the first time after my support system had been with me for weeks. We napped together for five hours that day after a good, long cry (by me).
Last parenting moment that brought you joy: My daughter confidently dancing and frolicking to the live bands at Oldtone Music Festival in Hillsdale.
When do you feel most like yourself: When I’m holding a microphone and standing on stage.
In the Neighborhood
We live in the Mid-Hudson Valley and we’re keeping tabs on these (mostly family-friendly) events near us. If there’s another event you’d like us to share, please send it our way!
Thursday afternoons - Music and Movement at Hudson Area Library
Saturday, September 28 - Hudson Jazz Festival Community Day, Hudson
Saturday, September 28 - Dalmatian Day at the Museum of Firefighting, Hudson
Saturday, September 28 - Sunday, September 29 - Hudson Valley Garlic Festival, Saugerties
Starting in October - Prenatal, postnatal, and toddler yoga at Sadhana, Hudson*
Sunday, October 6 - Germantown Library 5k, Germantown
Wednesday, October 9 - Upper Hudson Planned Parenthood Advocacy Summit, Albany ^
Sunday, October 13 - Harvest Festival at Hawthorne Valley, Ghent
Saturday, October 19 - Sunday, October 20 - Sheep & Wool Festival, Rhinebeck
Sunday, October 27 - Ghostly Gallop 5k, Hudson
Friday, November 1 - The Goddess Party, Hudson *^
Starting in early November - Parent-child classes at Hawthorne Valley, Ghent *
BEFORE November 24 - Get thee to Gaskins before they close forever, Germantown
* = will likely sell out, so book soon!
^ = for adults
What We’re Reading
[Genevieve] - Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood by Lucy Jones. This quote in particular took my breath away, as if I were being truly seen for the first time: “Everyone knows adolescents are uncomfortable and awkward because they are going through extreme mental and bodily changes, but, when they have a baby, women are expected to transition with ease – to breeze into a completely new self, a new role, at one of the most perilous and sensitive times in the life course.”
[Ashley] - As a working mom, reading is VERY MUCH an escape. I don’t want to work that hard when I’m not with clients or my daughter. In comes the fantasy genre. If you haven’t read the original The Golden Compass novels by Philip Pullman, do it. I just finished the prequel trilogy to them, The Book of Dust. And I won’t lie - I will totally delve into some fantasy romance à la Fourth Wing. We gotta keep it fresh, kids.
[Maddie] - Breastmilk antibodies as a treatment for adults? Molecules named for Shakespeare characters? Intranasal breastmilk preventing brain hemorrhage? So fascinating.
Our Picks
[Maddie] - A little over a month for the kids to rock this. Looks best paired with a donation to a competitive down-ballot race of your choosing - here’s mine.
[Genevieve] - Tossing in a wild recommendation that you won’t regret: The Earliest Show, a sketch/improv show on YouTube starring Ben Schwartz and Lauren Lapkus. It’s silly and goofy and seven years old, but it’s having a major comeback right now. Plus, I want to prep you with lots of Lauren Lapkus content before she stars in Another Happy Day, a comedy about postpartum depression, out on October 1.
[Ashley] - Wait, there’s time to do anything beyond surviving day to day? Joking, kind of. Let’s keep it simple. Samascott Garden Market has truly the most delicious BBQ chicken salad. Beans, cheese, tortilla chips, chipotle ranch dressing, etc. And it is $7. Trust me - if you find yourself in Kinderhook and you want something not expensive and delicious, it does not disappoint.
Working Together
If you still have those packs of NBs and Size 1s in the back of a closet, Coterie will send you a prepaid shipping label to donate unused, unopened diapers to Good+ Foundation. Email hello@coterie.com with your address and how many packs (any brand! any size!) you’d like to send.
A note from us - as we find our rhythm, please reply with what you want to see in this space. We have toddlers, we’re used to tough feedback.
I know now that ear infections are caused by fluid buildup behind the eardrum. Oops!